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People spend a lot of time seeking their life treasure by changing jobs, getting into new relationships, going on vacations, and other activities focused "out there". There's an expectation that once they finally find "it" – their next big 'click', more money, better toys – that they will finally feel fulfilled. So if they just keep going after achieving a new goal, a new prize, a new something, they believe they will experience the treasures of their life. The thought is that they, at last, will feel safe, happy and have no need to continue their incessant, driving search. And it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Somehow transformation, and therefore fulfillment, is presumed to be found somewhere other than within. But fulfillment is a deep, natural craving that motivates us to go on a journey that many of us would just as soon avoid. Simply put, it's simple but not easy.
In seeking fulfillment, we need to face demons that are invisible to the naked eye, risk what we already have without regret, and recognize that the physical rewards of the material world are merely an outer reflection of our inner experience and are therefore not sustainable as a source of deep, inner fulfillment. It's a journey that is not measured by success or failure, but rather, by our own feeling sense of a seemingly elusive state of being that all people can have but few people actually experience.
Fulfillment is a certain freedom that is attained in the quest of it. You can't have fulfillment without risking the security of the status quo. Because you don’t have it now, you feel compelled to get it, but you can't get it until and unless you're willing to go beyond what you already know. The biggest impediment to fulfillment is actually the very thing that defines it... a natural orientation around what feels good. But many people have no idea what that means as they live inside the boxes of "shoulds", defensively avoiding social judgment as being unconventional and thereby possibly being rejected. In this manner, the path to fulfillment is outer-focused rather than inner-perceived.
The journey of fulfillment is one fraught with growth opportunities, challenges and profound learning in order to have a rich experience of oneself. Here are three things that you can do today to further your journey toward personal fulfillment.
1. The Churn Factor:Life "churn" is an indicator that a lot of intense motion is occurring, but it's when you are through it or the churn is stopped that there is peace. In other words, you may find that there is a lot of activity in your life when you are growing, but, if that activity includes drama, struggle, resistance, repetitive dysfunctional patterns and attachments, you are slowing your own fulfillment. Consider where your life is in churn and what needs to be addressed, handled and/or released to stop excessive and unnecessary churn in order to feel more fulfillment.
2. Have Adventures:In the words of Hellen Keller, "Life is either a great adventure or it's nothing." An adventure is an experience that takes you beyond your known world, and it can be a physical one (like traipsing a new mountain trail) or intangible (connecting the dots of your emotional life to your current behaviors and outcomes). In either case, adventures infuse a sense of wonder, excitement and push you to new levels of resilience and expanded perception about what's happening to engage a new sense of fulfillment in your life.
3. Say It:If you've been holding something back, not having a conversation that needs to be had, living in toleration around a relationship or situation, it's time to get that out and communicated. Up until this point, that situation or relationship has had more power than you, and you’ve been in a reactive state, living with what showed up vs. responsibly creating your best life. It may not be pretty, it may not be simple, and you may not know what is going to happen, but if it allows you to be more of who you are, it's what's needed for you to experience a greater sense of fulfillment in your life. In the words of an anonymous bard, "it's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
Fulfillment is a sweetness that can only be savored from the inside as expanded perception and freedom from external attachments. Isn’t it time for you to start savoring the fruits of your fulfillment?
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