The meaning of love

We often associate passion with love. However, passion and love are not synonymous. Passion is an emotional state rather violent and powerful that dominate reason. True passion can degenerate into obsession. Love is what survives when the passion fades. The feeling of love is based on knowledge rather than on the attraction and fantasies.

For love to exist and develop, three conditions are necessary. These three conditions must be channeled toward the same person and be reciprocal.

Admiration

The first condition is admiration. I can only love someone if I admire him or her and if I feel admired by that same person. Admiration is a feeling of joy and fulfillment toward what we consider beautiful, great and noble. There is no love without respect. From the moment we start yelling all kind of stupid things to each other, we are seriously mortgaging our love. We may not always agree with each other, but we must always agree about the fact that the other person is a unique human being, exceptional and worthy of respect and admiration. The decline of admiration is directly proportional to the decrease of love. The loss of wonder and admiration is an exceedingly grave indication, which seriously puts in danger the couple survival.

Dreams

The second condition is the dreams. Two people who love each other share the same projects, and the same dreams. They are two accomplices who plot their future together: their marriage, buying a house, the arrival of the first child and of the following children, their professional success, their social involvements, their vacations and their retirements . . . That each member of the couple may have individual dreams different from those of the other, there is no reasons to panic or make a big fuss about it. The individual's dreams should not be limited to the couple's dreams. But shouldn't take precedence over the couple's dreams and joint projects. Starting from the time when one is caught dreaming about another he or she, the end of the common dreams are very close to an end. Every couple is based on two people having their own autonomous respective projects and joint projects. Loving, is dreaming about all the possible things that can be accomplished as a couple. When the man devotes all his energy and all his time to his professional success, and the woman lives only for her children, a distance is created between the two lovers, who may find themselves as foreigners in retirement, as soon as the children are gone.

Sexuality

Finally, love is based on physical attraction and sexual attraction. So the phrase "making love" means sex. To love someone is to desire that person, stick close, touch, caress, interpenetrate, fuse. To love someone is to be attracted physically and intellectually by this person. Does a sexual difficulty or a loss of libido means a loss of love? Sometimes, but not always. But it is a clue that something is happening which the couple must deal with at the earliest time possible in order to survive. Passion, by definition, kills the desire, the same way as a good meal makes hunger disappear. Desire comes from frustration and need. To keep desire well and alive, each person must find a fair distance that allows the desire to continue as (we must eat if we want to survive), but waiting till you are hungry maintains the eating pleasure (Lunch is always good when we are hungry). Taking the other for granted is the surest way to kill Love .

Therefore love constitutes recognition, admiration, projects and pleasures.