The Secrets of Happily Married Men

With almost half of first marriages ending unhappily, and an even greater percentage of second marriages doing the same, it's apparent that the overload of self-help marriage books, Dr. Phil instant-therapy shows and widely-available marriage counseling is not keeping marriages from going under. However, every once in a while we find a relationship book that dazzles, and that is Dr. Scott Haltzman's innovative, The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever.

Dr Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and a couples and individual counselor, noticed that many men in counseling held back with a serious hesitation to express their feelings and fears. He founded a web site, , as a way to research and support men's marriage strategies, and after communicating with thousands of men, collected a vast amount of revealing information about men and marriage. The results have been skillfully distilled into this enlightening, helpful book that should be required reading for both men and women in relationships. The book celebrates the equality of the sexes and outlines their inborn strengths and skills. Be that as it may, the distinguishing message is that there are real and undeniable biological and emotional differences between men and women that must be comprehended and utilized to benefit the relationship, not to create more conflict.

The author explains, in a user-friendly style, why men don't need to reinvent themselves in order to improve relationship skills. He describes the biological reasons why men and women differ in the ways they think and feel, particularly the structure of the brain that determines how we perceive the world, how we communicate and how we respond emotionally. It is understandable why so many gender traits frustrate and irritate, because we don't comprehend them. Following the very compelling compare-and-contrast lesson on brain differences, the book devotes one chapter to each of the eight strategies that happily married men claim are the most important factors for enjoying a fulfilling marriage while retaining a strong sense of themselves as male.

The chapters include: Make your marriage your job Know your wife Be home now Expect conflict and deal with it Learn to listen Aim to please Understand the truth about sex Introduce yourself Each chapter has personal anecdotes, along with insight, advice and useful TO DO lists to help organize the material and facilitate following the action steps. Many marriages fail because of preconceived notions about how men and women should relate to each other. This book provides new and effective ways for men and women to understand and appreciate each other without obliterating the essential essence of their biology and their mental and physical make up. Dr Haltzman tells men that they are able to improve and save their marriages precisely because they have the innate skills to succeed in relationships.

The bottom line is that, "when men worked hard to improve their marriages using their inborn manly skills to put their wives' needs above their own, not only did their marriages improve, but they were happier and more fulfilled than at any other point in their lives". And women with important insight into why their husbands do what they do, help their men to be more successful partners.