Statistics from the United Nations show a trend of rising divorce rates in many countries in recent years. The divorce rate has been high in many European countries and America, but now many Asian countries are catching up. The divorce rate in Korea, for example, is ranked third in the world.
Many factors influence the decision to divorce or separate. Some reasons commonly discussed in the literature include individual preferences, age, gender, cultural norms and social customs, economic opportunity, and institutional rules, e.g. family policies of marriage and divorce.
Trends in marital instability vary by country; however, a striking distinction is the difference in trends.
When you analyze relevant independent variables such as age, sex, employment, and education are analyzed in relation to marital instability for each country. Additionally, local economic indicators and development there is a pattern that these factors influence the probability of being divorced or separated differently for men and women.
The largest significant degree of divorces occur where married women working and the percent of non-farm labor. Both these variables represent not only what they appear to represent at face value, but also larger societal shifts in the way in which families live and interact with their surroundings
Changes in women’s roles in society and advances in economic development appear to follow similar trends in increase of divorces and separations.
The percent of married female labor participation in a local geographic region is associated with an increase in the probability of being divorced for both men and women, and associated with a decrease in separation for women and an increase in separation for men. Those with less than a high school education are more likely to be separated and less likely to be divorced than those with the equivalent of a high school education. And, finally, local economic development plays a role. Higher development in a local geographic area is associated with an increase in both divorce and separation.
Monogamyis the state of having only one husband, wife, or sexual partner at any one time. The word monogamy comes from the Greek wordmonos"?????", which means one or alone, and the Greek wordgamos"?????", which means marriage or union. In many cases, the word "monogamy" is used to specifically refer to marital monogamy.
Social monogamyrefers to two persons/creatures who live together, have sex with one another, and cooperate in acquiring basic resources such as food, clothes, and money.
Sexual monogamyrefers to two persons/creatures who remain sexually exclusive with one another and have no outside sex partners.
Genetic monogamyrefers to two partners that only have offspring with one another.
Marital monogamyrefers to marriages of only two people.
Serial monogamyis characterized by a series of long- or short-term, exclusive sexual relationships entered into consecutively over the lifespan. This does not refer to a fifth variety of monogamy in regards to the four main types, but is a type of monogamy that can describe any of the four other varieties.
In common usage referring to humans, the two partners need not be married, but may be involved in a sexually monogamous relationship. This behavior is sometimes referred to as a form of, or replacement for, polygamy.
In animal sexuality, serial monogamy often means that an animal will have a different, but exclusive, breeding partner each mating season. Generally, any animals that do not mate with one partner for life can be considered serially monogamous, including those who find a second mate only upon the death of the first.
Serial monogamy has always been closely linked to divorce practices. Whenever procedures for obtaining divorce have been simple and easy, serial monogamy has been found. As divorce has continued to become more accessible, more individuals have availed themselves of it, and many go on to remarry. It has been suggested, however, that high mortality rates in centuries past accomplished much the same result as divorce, enabling remarriage (of one spouse) and thus serial monogamy.
A serial monogamistis a person who has many sexual partners in his or her lifetime, but only ever one at a time. The serial monogamist will seemingly form what looks like a lasting commitment to one person, but the commitment is usually only superficial. Some serial monogamists are incapable of commitment for a long period of time.
The partnership in the relationship can either be through marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Usually, the serial monogamist is aware of the pattern that he or she follows. Each relationship may be entered into with a how long will this one last frame of mind.
The serial monogamist is usually fully aware of his or her inability to fully commit to another. This does not mean that serial monogamists do not try to commit, but it seems that commitment is not something they feel comfortable with. Compared to serial monogamy, true monogamy is a state in which one person stays with another for his or her entire life.
In the western world, true monogamy is becoming less and less common. Today we see that more marriages than ever split up within three years. Serial monogamists can stay with partners for that length of time or even longer. It is a source of frustration to some serial monogamists that they have been labeled with this title. The serial monogamist’s relationships can last longer than some marriages.
Fear of commitment and perfectionism play a large part in the serial monogamist’s thinking. Childhood influences also a play a large part. Bad role models from parents give serial monogamists an inherent fear of commitment. They are unable to cope with the pressure of the family unit for long periods of time and eventually seek their independence once again. If the partnership begins to show problems similar to those witnessed in childhood, then it will no longer mirror the ideal the serial monogamist has in his or her head.
Many people think that they can be the one to change the serial monogamist's way of thinking. This is sometimes a futile effort. The pattern of serial monogamy is often so established that the serial monogamist can predict the month or year that the break up will occur. No one seeks to end a relationship willingly if there are no problems. For some serial monogamists, the fear of commitment is beyond their control.
Some people hold that serial monogamy is a psychological problem. They believe that the only way to deal with the serial monogamist’s state of mind is through psychological help. Other people think that the term serial monogamist is a cop-out. It can be used as a way for people to give weight to their incapability of sustaining a relationship. Whether it is a psychological problem or not, serial monogamy is usually not a state of mind most people are happy to live with forever.
People commenting on the subject of Serial Monogamist
Finally I have found the answer to my last relationship failure. A wonderful 2+ year relationship with a man I am still in love with, even though we are now apart. He has had several long lasting monogamist relationships in the 20 years since he was divorced. I ended it , using my head and not my heart, because I found when I really needed him after an injury his depth of caring just wasn't there, not capable of the 'normal' emotions associated with a relationship. I challenged him about being like this and he is quite happy to go the rest of his life like it, does not want to end up with someone having the responsibility of looking after him when he is old - ultimately I think this is because he is incapable of doing the same for the person in his life
I had a brief, intense 3 month relationship with a man who actually said to me, "my therapist calls me a serial monogamist". What was I thinking? Esp. when I found his new girlfriend on a well known website and found that he is taking her to the same places, telling her the same things, creepy! Poor girls before and after me! I am glad I got "dumped" when I did. We should always maintain our friendships while we date, even if it is exclusively, you never know who will find you. It was hard, terrifying, life changing, but I have learned a lesson.
I guess I would call myself a serial monogamist. I've only ever had short term relationships. I just recently graduated high school and that dating world is all I've known. You know how when you're with someone you spend all your time with them? Even if it's just hanging out at so-so is house watching movies. I've always been the one to break it off and my friends can usually tell when I'm going to before I even do. I tend to exhibit the same symptoms over and over again. Some say it's because I haven't found the one, others say I have commitment issues. I guess both are true. But at some point I'd like to hopefully change my ways. I live in a fairly small suburb and my reputation has started to proceed me. Now it seems that no guy will date me because they're afraid of just becoming another number on my list
Yes, maybe it's best for the serial monogamist to move on through life at a fast pace without having "Legal complications" but, have you ever thought about the people who get left behind in your path of destruction? Those people often experience rejection to a point that it contaminates your self image. I know, I have just come out of such a "relationship" where I am the victim of a serial monogamist. It hurts so much; I can't even begin to describe it to you. So, yes, there is one huge advantage in leading this life style, but only to the serial monogamist himself/herself. Nobody else enjoys the benefits associated to this kind of life style
I do believe that I am a serial monogamist and I wonder if this is why I tend to pick guys who could also be considered serial polygamists. I tend to always be in relationships and despise "cheating", however after a break-up, I will say "I am going to be single for awhile and just enjoy It.", and then within 2 weeks to 3 months I find myself in a relationship again. My longest relationship has only been 5 years and I average somewhere around 7 to 8 months. I have recently entered a new relationship, this one only 3 months after the divorce from a 5 year marriage. I do however want this one to "last forever", whatever that is and think that maybe I should seek psychological help so that it can. Wow, the revelation is absolutely startling, but it helps me visualize the problem and hopefully now I can find a solution.
I was just dumped by what I consider a serial monogamist after almost 4 years. My boyfriend was the best in so many ways with the exception of the inability to communicate deeply and show what I would consider true emotion, in every other way he was the best guy ever, which is what makes the breakup even more difficult. His primary father is now on number five, while his second dad was emotionally and verbally abusive so I'm told by his mother. What kind of effect does this have on an individual who initially told me they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me?
I am a serial monogamist. I am not the least bit ashamed of it either. I did, however, figure it out a bit late; I'd had 2 failed marriages and had just backed out of a third. Now that I know I was only getting married because society told me I should, I quit getting married - makes life easier. Plus, if you tell the other person right up front that you are fine with long term but no "forever please" you tend to have very satisfying relationships that end amicably for both.
I am a serial monogamist & I am not the slightest bit happy about that fact & I guarantee that it's not a cop-out. I have always gone into things with the feelings of "this could be the one" & as said in the article....it never is. Then I am left with the crying, the indecisiveness of "what if I am giving up too soon" and then it gets dragged out into the war of polarities for 10 years. I constantly ask "why can't he be the one....why do I need to go through this nightmare again?" My condition has become absolutely explosive since my divorce 4 years ago in which I have only had one relationship since then ending in 7 months. No matter how I try it never works for an independent, self-reliant, strong & sober woman. Why am I incapable of having a good, happy & healthy relationship with the opposite sex? Why is it always an issue? I would love nothing more than to nest & have a loving husband....do I see that ever happening though? No...never. not for me. I have come to the terms that I am not one of the fortunate that will ever have the soul mate & life-long commitment. I accept it as best as I can, I hold my head as high as I can & I just continue on.
Many people fall into this general description without ever intending to be a serial monogamist. Many people enter a relationship intending it to be "the one"... but then find (for whatever reason) that the relationship won't last. And so, they move on, or are left, with the idea that the next one might become the right one. To some extent, this is the process of dating many people when you are young and single, in the hopes of finding someone who is a "good fit". In truth there are a number of individuals with whom one could settle down with, except in our modern culture, divorce, and hooking up, are considered more acceptable. Therefore, serial monogamony becomes more prevalent.
It is my goal to be a serial monogamist. Why would I want to be committed to one person my whole life? Once the relationships get boring I should be able to move on without any legal implications and so on. I don't see how serial monogamy can be seen as a problem. People should be encouraged to live this way since it is more realistic to live this way than to commit to one person your whole life.
The people who need psychological help are the ones who decide to stay in a relationship fraught with difficulties "for the kids" or because they can't admit that the relationship has run its course. Since we all have a limited number of years here I fail to see the sanity in staying with a partner you no longer love just because society says you have a psychological problem if you don't. My parents have been married for over 35 years and I am pretty sure around 20 of them were spent unhappy. Now they are so old they have no choice but to remain together until one of them can escape through the death of the other. No thanks. You can keep your lifelong commitment stuff to yourselves.
Global trend of Divorce rate
The US: People fear divorce more than marriage
About 59% of America's population of 300 million is married. Although over 90% of American adults look forward to married life, divorce rates are still very high. During the 1950s, more than 90% of married couples would stay together for ten years or more, but in the 1990s, this percentage has fallen to below 50%. In recent years, many older adults have been getting divorced after they turn 60, or even 80 years old.
American experts says that there are many reasons for the rising divorce rate, including people's longer life spans, new generational values, and the growing economic independence of women. Another reason is that it is extremely easy to get divorced in America. In recent years, as the economy has struggled and jobs have become harder to find, younger Americans are not willing to marry so quickly and those who are married are not so quick to divorce.
Korea: Divorce rate ranks 3rd in the world
According to Korean government statistics, the divorce rate in Korea is growing at an average rate of 0.5% per year. In the past ten years, the total number of divorces has increased by nearly three times. That is to say, out of every 1,000 couples, 2.8 of them will divorce, making Korea's divorce rate the third highest in the world after America and the UK.
There are various reasons why the divorce rate in Korea is so high, but the main reason is disagreements between the mother-in-law and wife. A representative from Korea's family courts who handles divorce cases went on the record to say, "Divorce cases always increase after Mid-autumn Day, New Year and the summer holiday because couples are more likely to quarrel about going to the in-laws house. And then once they get there, as problems between the mother-in-law and wife become from pronounced, someone ends up demanding a divorce."
Another factor that has led to rising divorce rates is a change in values.
More women are initiating divorce or separation procedures. 66.7% of divorces in 2003 were initiated by women, compared to 30.6% by men. Among the reasons cited for getting a divorce, 46.4% of divorces occur because the wife or husband is having an affair.
In order to curb the rising divorce rate, the government has enacted certain measures that have proven to be effective. In March 2005, the Seoul Family Court implemented a mandatory "thinking period" and counseling session which couples must complete before applying for a divorce..
India: Divorce rate twice as high as ten years ago
In India, there are no formal statistics concerning divorce rates due the large rural population and incomplete records, but it is widely acknowledged that the divorce rate has greatly increased.
Young couples divorcing is a major reason divorce rates have risen. The phenomenon of "family group marriages" is also noteworthy. In rural India, marriages between families are quite common. For example, the brothers of one family marry the sisters of another family at the same time. In a situation like this, once one marriage ends in a divorce and leads to deep enmity between the families, all the marriages are likely to end in divorce.
According to a recent survey, the higher a woman's educational level, the less she cares about getting a divorce.
Germany: Legislation to make divorce more difficult
Divorce rates in Germany have remained high in recent years with no sign of declining. Statistics show that over 200,000 couples divorced last year. Most of the couples who divorce have already lived apart for the last six years of the marriage and at the seventh year they begin the divorce procedures. The German media has blamed this on rising unemployment rates which cause unhappiness in the marriage.
A "divorce economy" in German society has become popular, in which divorce-related magazines, companies, bars, and TV shows have added fuel to the fire. A famous marriage counselor has expressed concerns with the appearance of this phenomenon saying, this will probably encourage more people to separate from their partners. A German expert on the marriage law said, "People have the right to get a divorce, but they should not abuse this right. First and foremost, people who wish to divorce should consider their responsibilities to their elders, children, family and society. The fact is, because people are so hasty to divorce, the issues of single parent families, care for the elderly and children's education have become crucial social problems.
In response, the German legislature is trying to pass legislation making it more difficult to get a divorce. Divorce is not encouraged by the government. Once a husband wants to get divorced, he must give his wife half of his income for the rest of his life.
Brazil: Single girls seeking married men
The divorce rate in Brazil has doubled since 1985. Many experts believe that this is due to the 1988 abolition of a law that men could only have two divorces in their lifetime. Now, they can marry and divorce as many times as they like.
Sociologists believe that attitudes towards divorce have changed. In the past, women who divorced their husbands were looked down upon. Now, Brazilian women believe that if a woman suffers from domestic abuse, it is a shame to continue being with him. Statistics show that 73% of divorces and separations are initiated by women. In addition, infidelity is another reason for the break up of marriages. A psychologist, Mr. Louis, says that, in Brazil there is a strange phenomenon of single girls seeking out married men.
In order to maintain social stability, Brazilian law states that married couples must wait two years after their marriage to get a divorce. Furthermore, they must live apart for two years. The law also stipulates that people must wait two years after a divorce to remarry.
China: Rapid growth in divorce rates
According to statistics from the China Civil Administration Department, 341,000 married couples divorced in 1980, 800,000 in 1990, 1,210,000 in 2000, and 1,331,000 in 2005. From these numbers it is evident that divorce is a growing trend in China.
Xu Anqi, an analyst at the Shanghai Social Science Academy and standing director of the China Research Association for Women and Family says the reason for the growing number of divorces in China is multifaceted. First, society is going through a transitional period which is greatly affecting the stability of marriages. Second, as living standards increase people have higher expectations towards marriage and love. A third reason is, the simplification of marriage and divorce procedures has made getting a divorce much easier.
Xu Anqi believes that high divorce rates in certain areas do not necessarily indicate marriages are unhappy and society is unstable. A survey on marriages revealed that people are happier in an open country with looser divorce laws. That is because couples with problems can separate and those with stable marriages are more emotionally satisfied, which is beneficial to a harmonious social order.
Chen Xinxin from the Women Studies Institute of ACWF (All-China Women's Federation) also thinks that improvements in women's social status have resulted in increasing divorce rates. As women become more independent economically and spiritually, they are no longer regarded as socially inferior, and this is a reflection of women's liberation and social progress.
(Source: Global Times)
