A few years ago I met with a man who'd just lost his wife in an automobile accident. It was a terrible accident and he was left with two small children to raise. What made it even worse, the man was suffering from a serious physical disability. His wife was the sole "breadwinner" in the house. She worked odd jobs (like house cleaning for other people) for some extra money when she could, nursed her husband, cleaned and cooked, ran him to the doctors, and was mother and tutor to their two young children. She was an exceptional woman.
In the state of Indiana, and in virtually every state, a "wrongful death" case (where a death is caused by the wrongful or negligent actions of another), requires that there be some evidence gathered showing the monetary value of that person's life. It is an unfortunate reality of our society that a life has to be valued in dollars in order to right the wrongful taking of that life (as though we could really measure one's life in dollars). However, our legal system is set up such that most wrongs are righted by compensation in the form of dollars. This is not to say there are not other non-monetary remedies. There are. The Court can, for instance, order a defendant to perform some kind of duty owed to another. But, when it comes to personal injuries, including wrongful death, the primary remedy is in dollars.
I learned something in this case about valuing a life, particularly about valuing the life of a woman who did the kinds of things that wives and mothers typically do on a daily basis. This woman was a dedicated wife and mother. She was busy from the time she got up in the morning until she fell into bed late at night, exhausted. She'd get up early in the morning, fix breakfast for the family, then would help the kids get ready for school, then she'd rush them out the door with words like "Come on! Hurry or you're going to be late for school!" as though being late for school was akin to missing out on Christmas.
Then, on most days, she'd return home, help her husband dress, then drive him to a doctor's appointment. After she'd returned home, she might spend the day cleaning, washing clothes, or other household chores, including mowing the grass, or, in the winter, shoveling the driveway. On other days, she'd drive over and clean a house for money, or she'd help out someone who was in need of some nursing care (she was a nurse, but had to quit her job when her husband became disabled).
As a lawyer representing her husband, the children and the estate, I immediately hired an Economist and asked him to evaluate her worth as a nurse, calculating the money that she could have made in the job market for the duration of her working life; and then, I asked him to make the same valuation for her role as a housewife. I told him what she did on a regular basis. Her contributions to the household were then valued on those services she performed for the family.
The numbers were stunning.
Her monetary value as a mother and wife was nearly twice the value as a working nurse!
Needless to say, I chose to present to the opposing attorney the value of her life as a mother and wife, as a housewife, rather than as a nurse. The valuation was very instrumental in enabling me to achieve a significant settlement for the husband and children.
That case taught me a lesson as to the true value of a housewife. They do an incredible job, one that is often thankless. They are up in the night playing nurse to a sick child, and then they're running a taxi service (when they're not running a small eatery, filling the role of cook, waitress, and dishwasher). Then, they magically assume the form and nature of a maid, changing bedding, washing clothes, cleaning dishes, and a host of other chores that are never-ending. Housewives are incredible, perpetual-motion beings.
Would God husbands and children would learn to appreciate what they do.
No man can ever (truthfully) say that a housewife doesn't work hard. If he does, he's either lying or ignorant. I am convinced most housewives work harder than the man in the household. (I know my wife works harder than I do.) Most men could not afford to hire a woman to do the amount of work a mother and wife does on a daily basis.
Men and children who take the woman of the house for granted ought to be sentenced to a week of having to do her work.All of it.And, they need to do it just as good as she does it.
(Most men would, thereafter, probably be willing to pay her to stay on the job.)
