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In a sad way, I find it somewhat amusing when mass media and some parents routinely propose or actually go ahead in giving their teens leniency in regards to breaking universal rules and values around dating and sex. I find this amusing because I routinely have young girls come in to see me or request advice via my website, about their realization that they have become pregnant, and lost as to what course of action to take. Recently I saw a fifteen year old, who was contemplating giving her year old son for adoption, because she had reached her wits end with him. The child, like any one year old, fast approaching his second birthday, has become more active and demanding for attention. These examples are just dealing with teen pregnancy and teen parent hood, I have not begun to go into the adolescent clients diagnosed with herpes, and yes HIV, I have seen in the past. So yes, I find the glorification of sex with adolescents in today's culture somewhat amusing because, no one ever brags about staying up all night with a crying baby, or being infected with HIV. If you are a parent, there are three lessons you need to teach your teen about sex. Lesson One Just as you sat with your toddler (or maybe not), and watched Elmo and friends shamelessly talk about the basics of potty training, you should sit with your teen and shamelessly talk about the basics of sex. From sexual attraction, to arousal, to fore play and intercourse. This difficult and needful conversation has to cover not just sex, but the science behind it. From the differences between the male and female genitalia, to what changes to expect during puberty, pregnancy and sexual transmitted infections. Lesson Two So you have gone over the bells and whistles of sex and it's consequences with your teen, now what? Protection. That's right, go ahead; talk about the use of a condom and it's researched statistic, as well as the use of birth control. Condoms if used correctly, will work a hundred percent of the time, ninety-eight percent to account for human error. Then there is the science and timing of birth control pills, explain to your son or daughter what happens if one pill is missed, and the success rate even if the pills are taken on a consistent basis. Lesson Three This is the most important lesson of all, as it has to do with the “what if” scenarios. What if your daughter gets pregnant? What if your son gets a sexual transmitted infection, or becomes a father? The focus of this lesson is to teach your teen, that nothing is guaranteed or set in stone, and that their daily choices could trigger a number of infinite possibilities. As a responsible parent, your “what if” response should be tailored towards supporting your teen, but not enabling or bailing them out of trouble. Teaching these three lessons will not eliminate the possibilities of your teen contracting a sexual transmitted infection or becoming a teen parent, but it will go a long ways towards decreasing the likelihood. Ugo Uche MS., LPC For more information about Ugo please visit: AskTheInternetTherapist
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