Tiger Woods, Sex Addiction And The Low Self Worth Spiral
A lot has been written about Tiger Woods' cheating on his wife Elin and why he would do such a thing. Some have suggested that he was just ‘being a guy' or that perhaps he had gotten married too young and needed to sew his oats. I think these people are missing the true cause completely because they don't understand sex addiction and how low self worth can spiral into a self destructive pattern that only ends when the individual hits bottom.
It is well known that Tiger Woods was put into golf by his father when he was very young. At an extremely young age only two or three, Tiger even appeared on TV as a golf prodigy. A two or three year old child obviously does not have the self awareness or life experience to have even a clue what he wants to do with his life and yet Tiger's dad, by putting so much effort into pushing Tiger to be such a prodigy at such a young age, basically made the decision for him.
How so you ask? Because Tiger's father, by putting so much effort and of himself to this pursuit made Tiger growing up attaching his success at golf as being synonymous with having his dad's approval and love. After so many formative, developmental years of seeing how much Tiger's father was so passionate about Tiger being the best golfer in the world…there was simply no way emotionally for Tiger to get out. He never had a period in his life like others of us do where we can try out different careers, explore, make mistakes and grow. The only thing Tiger ever knew and has ever known…is golf.
So what does this have to do with sex addiction you ask? It's simple really. Everyone wants to feel they are ‘worth' something. We all crave a feeling of validation and that we are important. Tiger got this need filled by having his father be proud of his accomplishments and feeling he gave his father the thing that he most wanted in his life. Tiger's dads happiness was just as important and necessary for Tiger to feel good about himself as it was rewarding for himself…probably even more so.
But when Tiger's dad passed away. The troubles began. A giant hole opened up in Tiger's life. He had been working and pursuing and pushing himself to succeed for his father's approval for so many years that now that he no longer was there…he needed something else to fill this giant void that opened up. This is where sex…and sex addiction came in.
Sex addiction is NEVER about the sex. It is about making someone feel worth something. A healthy person seeks self worth through his relationships with his wife, friends and children and through his career and accomplishments both inside and outside of work. But what went wrong in this situation? Why did Tiger turn to sex with perhaps dozens of other women if he was married and had kids and a career?
It's simple really…and you hear this from many athletes, musicians and others that were pushed into things by their parents. The very act of tying a parent's love to a child accomplishing or pursuing something for the parent's approval corrupts the system. Remember…Tiger did not make the decision to go into golf…it was made for him by his father when he was barely two years old. Instead of having a childhood where Tiger was valued for who he was, he was instead valued for his golf game.
It is not so hard to see then why Tiger's entire emotional development was corrupted and he probably never even realized that he was confusing his need for his father's approval for his love of golf. Does that mean Tiger really doesn't really love golf? It might. It would not surprise me, if like Andre Agassi, we read a book by Tiger Woods one day where he finally grows to a point where he realizes he might have enjoyed a whole bunch of other careers besides golf but simply never gave them a chance because he felt compelled to stick to golf because of his father.
During his ‘sex addiction' therapy, I would not be surprised if the psychologists and therapists try and teach Tiger how to gain his self worth and validation from the proper place it should derive from…his wife, kids and career. Hopefully he will learn to fill the void that his father's passing left with some other hobbies or interests or perhaps it will push him to re-emerge as an even better golfer now that he's gotten his emotions back on track. For more great articles please visit .
