|
|
 Acne (1,500)
Addictions (1,500)
Advice (1,500)
Allergies (1,092)
Alternative Medicine (1,500)
Anti Aging (1,500)
Breakup (1,500)
Cancer (1,499)
Dental Care (1,500)
Disabilities (1,500)
Divorce (1,500)
Elderly Care (1,498)
Goal Setting (1,500)
Hair Loss (1,500)
Health and Safety (1,497)
Hearing (1,500)
Law of Attraction (1,499)
Marriage (1,500)
Medicine (1,497)
Meditation (1,499)
Men's Health (1,500)
Mental Health (1,500)
Motivational (1,500)
Nutrition (1,495)
Personal Injury (1,499)
Plastic Surgeries (1,500)
Pregnancy (1,496)
Psychology (1,500)
Public Speaking (1,500)
Quit Smoking (1,500)
Religion (1,499)
Self Help (1,500)
Skin Care (1,500)
Sleep (1,500)
Stress Management (1,500)
Teenagers (1,492)
Time Management (1,500)
Weddings (1,500)
Wellness (1,500)
Women's Health (1,500)
Women's Issues (1,500)
|
Today is the day. I am doing it. I am going to do what I most fear in the world... I am going to eat. I am going to sit down and feel great about myself. I am going to enjoy every bite of what I am eating and all the voices in my head will be a mere memory. They will be a story in my mind that I have chosen to let go of for good. I am going to look into the mirror and be proud of what I see. Well, let say that I will recognize what I see. Let's say that I will be able to connect with what I see. Today, I will workout because I enjoy moving my body. I will see the scale as a thing instead of the end all and be all of my life. Today, I will love myself. I will let go of the story that has held me hostage for the past many years. The story that tells me that no one wants to hear my story of triumph. The story that tells me that telling my story is not going to make a difference in anyone's life. The story that tells me that I should just give up right now and go back to what and who I really am.... stupid, ugly and fat. Letting go of the story is the beginning for all of us. Sharing my story means that I am sharing some of the most intimate details of my life... my food and my eating disorder. I have become so close with the eating disorder that I call it mine. It is My Eating Disorder and you can't have it. I have even named it ED. When people came close I had a tendency to keep ED even closer. We did everything together. We went on dates and eventually ED became the only important person in my life. He convinced me that I could not live without him. I guess you could say that our relationship was more of a love- hate kind of relationship. I loved to hate ED. It was as though he was this thing that took over my body and I thought that if I could just cut him out then everything else in my life would be perfect. Ah... perfection. The only issue here is that when I cut him out I cut out parts of me as well. I had someone suggest that I embrace ED instead of trying to kill him because killing him meant killing a part of me and that I am too damn special. So here I am, doing what I promised myself I would never do. I am going to embrace my Eating Disorder and see it for what it really is... a way for me to keep myself from doing what I love. Before I begin I would like to clarify one thing. I have had an eating disorder in the past and I am no longer willing to allow this "thing" to define my life. What is the essence of my existence? Love. It is my intention that by sharing my story others might be willing to love themselves and embrace their lives as well.
|
|
|
