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Step 1 Realize that the majority of custody cases can and should be settled through negotiation and mediation. Contact the Academy of Family Mediators for the name of a mediator in your town who can help you achieve a settlement. Whenever cases are settled, children tend to be able to cope better and there are fewer returns to courtroom later on to try and make modifications towards the custody situation. Step 2 Know that there are cases that cannot be settled, either because of abuse or neglect or simply due to extreme personalities. Step 3 Realize that if you have one of those cases, you need to find a good family law attorney. You may have to pay more than you'd like, but it is necessary. Step 4 Tell your attorney everything, even your secrets that you want no one to know. Be sure to tell your attorney all of the facts about the other parent. Leave nothing out and do not make anything up. Your attorney has to have all of the facts to achieve the outcome you want. Step 5 Listen to your attorney. Do every single thing he or she tells you to do, even if it causes you inconvenience or discomfort. Your attorney has had years of experience dealing with situations like yours and knows what to do. Step 6 Pay your attorney. If you do not pay your attorney, he or she may ask to be removed from the case. Even if the judge does not allow this, the attorney will complete your case with a lack of enthusiasm. Step 7 Document everything. Keep a record of visitation. Maintain a record of what you do when together with your child. Jot down any kind of problems you have with the other parent. Keep track of the money you spend on the child, the locations you take the child, and the actual peaceful at-home time spent with the child. Make recordkeeping your second job. You want to be able to prove to the court that you're the best parent and that the other parent is not as great as you. Your word on this is not enough.
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