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If you are a shy male, you know how difficult life can be if you do not overcome your shyness because being brave and daring are considered among the highly esteemed desirable male qualities. And if you are a shy female, you know how frustrating it can be to make friends and even find an ideal mate. So, just how do you conquer social anxiety and excessive shyness? Here are the top-ten most effective ways: - Start small: The key to overcoming shyness and social anxiety is to start small and take it easy. Do not expect substantial improvements within a short amount of time. Remember that old habits die hard. And shyness is more than just a habit; it is a well-engrained personality trait.
- Attack your inner critic: Try to focus on the positives and avoid defeatist and negative self talk. If you always suffer from the voice of a harsh inner critic when you are on a social situation, learn to replace with something more positive such as an affirmation. For example, "I am socially apt and I have many friends." Try to choose an affirmation that is geared towards your specific negative thoughts.
- Mental imagery: Mental imagery is very important when trying to overcome shyness and social anxiety. When in a social situation, imagine yourself being successful in overcoming your shyness and having a very good time because of it. You can imagine yourself in a previous stress-free social situation that you experienced. If you cannot recall such an instance, create one in your mind. Imagine it with vivid details and it will boost your self-confidence and make you ready to go.
- Social support: seek support from the people who are close to you. Ask them about events you can attend and be comfortable at. Try to go out with them and their friends or co-workers and ask them to help involve you in the conversation.
- Take care of yourself: Dressing nicely and exercising will not just reflect positively on how you look, it will also make you more confident. More confidence helps combat social anxiety.
- Ditch the caffeine: if you are to attend a social gathering or a public speaking event where you are expecting to suffer from anxiety, limit your caffeine intake. Caffeine makes you jittery and will make your social anxiety worse.
- Practice makes perfect: Practice being not shy. You can even try to role-play how you should act with a friend. Expose yourself to more social situations and practice your new social skills to sharpen them.
- Learn from the best: Observe very sociable and confident people. While modeling their behavior may be difficult, it will be rewarding to at least incorporate two or three ideas in your own shyness-attack plan.
- Don't set yourself up for failure: when you are first starting out, avoid situations that trigger extreme social anxiety and are difficult to deal with. Try out your new strategies in less challenging situations and work your way up.
- Fake it 'til you make it: when faced with a social situation, pretend that you are not shy. Fake confidence sometimes works wonders!
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