Understanding Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is like having a gun and using it at the wrong time. It's like having your target on sight - and firing at the inappropriate moment.

For the man, that's a waste of ammunition. For the woman, it's a frustrating experience. For both of them, it's a no win situation.

Normally, ejaculation should occur when the penis enters the vagina - long enough for both partners to sufficiently enjoy the sex act. The person with premature ejaculation, however, is always ahead of his partner. He ejaculates immediately or shortly after his penis enters the vagina. In some cases, he cannot even wait that long.

"The male orgasm and ejaculation may come even before the clothes come off - hard on the underwear and on the feelings," according to Dr. David Reuben, a noted California psychiatrist, in Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask). In others, merely touching the woman can bring about ejaculation.

In the animal kingdom, premature ejaculation is common and necessary for the survival of the species. Male animals ejaculate fast because they can't go shopping or run to the nearest convenience store when the need arises. They have to hunt for food.

"In nature, the ability to ejaculate rapidly is valued, and in the animal world rapid ejaculation after vaginal penetration is a desirable trait. Such activity ensures an efficient evolution of the species and also allows the coupling creatures to spend little time in the defenseless posture of sexual intercourse. As soon as the reproductive act is completed, they can go on with the more critical business of day-to-day living; like foraging for food and defending against predators," explained Dr. Richard F. Spark, associate clinical professor of medicine at the Harvard Medical School, in Male Sexual Health (A Couple's Guide).

But man has the luxury of time and the only predators he has to face are bill collectors. What's more, unlike the female animal, a woman's clitoris does not directly come in contact with the penis. That means she has to be aroused and stimulated to a certain degree before she reaches orgasm. This is what makes premature ejaculation objection¬able to the human species.

"From a reproductive perspective, no problem exists as long as ejaculation occur intravaginallly. In terms of the sexual experience, couples find that, a more prolonged period of intravaginal pelvic thrusting prior to ejaculation maximizes sexual excitement and increases opportunities for female orgasm," said Spark, a member of the International Society for Impotence Research and the American Fertility Society.

"There is one group of women who adore men with premature ejaculation: prostitutes. On the evening that a girl is lucky to find a dozen gentlemen who are quick on the trigger, she can be home in bed (her own) by nine-thirty," Reuben said.

What causes premature ejaculation? The cause is rarely physical but certain sexual practices can contribute to the problem. One of them is masturbation.

When a child is told that masturbation is bad, that won't stop him from engaging in this normal practice. It will, however, force him to do it quickly to avoid being caught. That's when he acquires the nasty habit of premature ejaculation. Over time, this frustrating habit can lead to impotence and lack of sexual desire. (Next: Treating premature ejaculation.)

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