Marital stresses than can lead to divorce are critically high right now. If you want to save marriage from divorce that may be caused by a disastrous event then here is some advice you can use right now.
What kind of stresses and events am I talking about that we are seeing more of today than in past years?
- Job loss
- Home foreclosure
- Death of a loved one in the military
- Health problems such as cancer
- Building a new home together (almost a recipe for divorce)
In some cases the event may not have even taken place yet, such as the job loss or foreclosure, but simply the threat of it can place tremendous stress on individuals and their relationships. It is time to take action tosave the marriage.
When people are scared or angry they often lash out at those around them and who is around you more than your spouse? Grief and despair can bring out the worst in anyone, so do not be quick to point fingers at your spouse.
Counseling can help and may be the way to go, but that can be expensive if not covered by insurance. If a job loss is the cause, then do you even have insurance?
If financial difficulties are already the problem you may need tosave marriagecounseling as a last resort. Do not forget, though, that a divorce could end up being far costlier in terms of both money and your quality of life. Additionally, some churches may provide help for free.
Specific advice to save your marriage
First you want to try to control your emotions enough so that you can sit down and talk with your spouse about what is going on in your lives. He or she is most likely to keep their cool if you are keeping yours. We do not want an argument.
Next, if you can both agree that the best possible outcome is for you to work through your problems and stay together then you have half the battle already won. Avoiding divorce is much easier if both of you agree that is what you want.
Once you have that foundation in place then talk about how you have been turning on each other when you really should be turning toward each other as someone to lean on and get support from. Treating each other like the enemy instead of the circumstance that got you here is the wrong approach.
Even if one of you made a mistake that you feel led to the problem, that is past, and dwelling on it will not help take you forward. If he or she will not admit the mistake then try to move forward anyway. Discuss how you both can work toward making the situation better.
If you can, find people that you trust and let them know the pain you are going through as a couple. Ask them if they could join your"save marriage support group"; people who have given you permission to call them when you need help, advice or a shoulder to cry on.
Find time for the two of you to spend together doing something fun where the only rule is to not bring up the current struggles. Watch a funny movie or go to the zoo and laugh at the chimps. It does not have to be expensive, just some way to blow off a little steam together and lighten your burdens.
I hope this helps you save marriage from divorce , at least for starters. Find out how you can put these troubles behind you and enjoy a happy relationship for a long time to come.
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