What Are My Children Doing
Our teenage years are meant to be enjoyed. Sure, there are high school, homework and college applications to think about. But the rest of the time is usually spent texting friends, shopping for the hottest trends and having crushes. Sometimes those crushes turn into boyfriends. And sometimes pregnancy is the result.
Along with following pregnant teens and hearing the reality of how teenage pregnancy really changes things, two different schools of thought regarding talking to kids about sex. There's the abstinence approach and there's the approach that assumes that kids are going to have sex. Not a lot of happy medium, I know, but two very different extremes. Perhaps we should stress moderation and see what happens?
I realize that in our culture kids are having sex and becoming sexually aware way before they're in their teens. I have read about teens sending pictures of themselves naked to friends of the opposite sex, and propositions initiated by girls.
I realize that things have changed a lot since I was a teen and I want to be as prepared as possible. This is an important subject and the more parents can do to educate ourselves and our children.
It is never too early to start talking to your child about their body and their sexuality, however, these talks need to change as your child gets older and moves towards becoming a teen.
Always make sure your teen knows the basics.
If you haven't already explained to your teen where babies come from, now is the time, as they most likely have heard it from their friends. You may need to know what information they have and then, give them the truth. Young teens are notorious for misinformation on sex.
Talk about body image and other issues.
During adolescence, both boys and girls are concerned with the way their bodies are starting to change or shape. They will have concerns about what is and what isn't normal. Let them know that they are very normal and everyone that is going through this time in their lives has the same valid concerns. Share some of the concerns you had when you were their age.
Remember to bring up the fact that open communication with you about sex does not in any way imply that you condone sexual behavior at their age or maturity.
The fact that you are stating your ground, will clear any confusion your teen may have and calm some of your own concerns.
If you have just learned that your teen is pregnant, you're probably experiencing a wide range of emotions, from shock and disappointment to grief and worry about the future.
If your daughter is planning to have the baby; many changes await your family.
It happens that every day nearly 1 million teenage girls in the United States give birth every year.
Some parents feel a sense of guilt, thinking that if only they'd done more to protect their child this wouldn't have happened. And although some parents are embarrassed by their teen's pregnancy and worried about how family, friends, and neighbors will react.
Whatever feelings you're experiencing, this is likely to be a difficult time for you and your family. The important thing is that your teen needs you now more than ever.
Tell your teen that your door is always open. Most importantly, encourage your teen to talk to you. Try to answer any question they may have about sex. Remember that you are their person of choice when it comes to valuable life information. Let them know that you are there for them.
Being able to communicate with each other, especially when emotions are running high. Teens that carry a baby to term have special health concerns, and your daughter will have a healthier pregnancy emotionally and physically if she knows she doesn't have to go it alone.
So what can you do as the parent of a teen having a baby? Recognize your feelings and work through them so that you can accept and support her. Does that mean you don't have the right to feel disappointed and even angry? No. Such reactions are common. You might have a strong flood of emotions to deal with, especially at first. But the reality of the upcoming baby means that you'll have to get beyond your initial feelings for the sake of your daughter and her child.
If you need help coping with your feelings about the situation, talk to someone you trust or seek professional counseling. A neutral third party can be a great resource at a time like this.
