A healthy relationship can come naturally to some people—they fall in love and
everything else seems to fall into place. They always seem to get along and rarely
argue. But if this doesn’t happen for you, don’t despair. You can learn (and relearn,
and relearn) to get past the rough spots. A healthy relationship takes time and work.
However, it also takes trust—that is, trust in your own feelings, and trusting your
partner with your feelings.
Now, what makes a relationship healthy? Good judgment about this requires a three-part analysis: using your mind, heart, and intuition. Use your mind, analyze the qualities of your relationship and determine whether it is healthy.(Take the quizzes in this book to help.) Use your heart and the emotions you have for your mate. And follow your intuition, that gut sense that tells you whether pairing the two of you is “right.” Here, let’slook at the six H’s to a healthy relationship:
1?Honesty.I have asked thousands of men and women in surveys over the years, “What is the most important quality of a lasting relationship?”The number one quality mentioned was honesty. Finances can be shaky,sex imperfect, stress overwhelming, but all those things can be overcome. Trust is essential. If trust is broken, your heart is broken.Everything else seems to tumble down, problems become less tolerable, and compromises less appealing.
2. Harmony.The sweetest sounds in music are created when two voices harmonize with one another—one hits a note that is not exactly the same as the other, but blends in perfectly.Better yet, it enriches the first note, filling out the sound. Two people in love similarly make beautiful music together. They don’t need to be the same; in fact, they are more well-rounded when they have differences,like the harmonized musical notes. Their individual choices of notes fit. You make a harmonious duet together.
3. Heart.The heart is the major organ of the body. It pumps the blood supply throughout the body, bringing nourishment. Having“heart” for one another means nourishing each other. Opening your heart to one another exposes your deepest feelings. And connecting your hearts binds you deeply and inextricably.
4. Honor.It’s a word used in marriage vows for a reason. Honoring each other means holding each other in high esteem, considering each other’s needs, and respecting each other—and an even more revered consideration of each other, worshipping each other. This means knowing each other to the core, believing in
each other’s soul, and appreciating each other beyond the physical body.
5?Healing.In ancient India men came to a specially trained female, called a Dakini, to be healed after war. The Dakini helped him clear his mind from the traumas he had been through, so he could reopen his heart and love again
6?Hot.Satisfying, sensuous, and erotic sex can certainly be a part of the healthy relationship equation. Having such a healthy sexual connection can increase your intimacy and bind you closer together.
“If we have our health, and each other, we have everything,” said one lovely woman
to her partner. How well put. That word—“health”—has taken on deeper meaning in
this new age.
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