What The No Contact Rule Can Do For You - A True Life Example
With so many people questioning the effectiveness of ?tid=ab60" " the no contact rule , I just had to share this true life example with all of you. I received this email earlier this week from a very smart, and obviously focused young woman named Monica.
Monica has graciously agreed to let me reprint the email in it's entirety (except for her ex boyfriends name...whom I will call “Mr. X”...because it sounds pretty cool). So, everything in the following email is exactly as she wrote it to me (typing errors and all...sorry Monica), except for her ex boyfriends name. I hope once you see how when correctly applied the no contact rule can change your life, you'll reconsider using it...OK?
The Email:
Hey Scott,
How have you been?
Well, it's been 30 days. I feel like a completely different person! I've lost weight, I've been spending time with my friends and family, I've been trying new things that I normally wouldn't do (ie. playing video games - I LOVE IT...its addicting :P, skating), I feel more confident, I've updated my fashion, I've been using new makeup techniques and changing my hairstyle once in a while, and I feel alot happier than I've been these past few months! I've even asked my friends to set me up on dates! I would've refused their offers 2 months ago, but I'm actually willing to let them help me. I've surrounded myself with people who are supporting my plan, and they're pretty proud of the progress I made. I've even used your self-help exercise you posted on your blog and it really did help me. I'm proud of how well I've been handling these 30 days. Plus, my school life has been pretty busy since exams are coming up so I had other things to concentrate on other than Mr. X.
I want to thank you for your advice. Going to meet him for that cup of coffee was not a good idea and I'm glad to have this month for time to myself. Thank you Scott, I didn't realize how much the no contact rule benefited me.
Well, it's been nearly 4 months since we broke up and my life's been going pretty great for me. So, a week ago, I questioned myself if getting back with Mr. X was the best idea for me. I was miserable after we broke up...do I really want to go through that pain again? Then I heard this song called "30 days" by nevershoutnever! and it hit me - I'm still crazy about him, I still miss him, and I still want to be with him. The lyrics in the song was exactly what I was feeling. Whether we get back or not, I'm glad that I've experienced all this. During this month, I've wrote in my journal to rant about my feelings and the breakup. I usually feel better after I write down my feelings. I wrote about our relationship and I've came up with different theories to the reason why we broke up.
1. I didn't put enough effort into it - Like you said, I should listen to what actually comes out of his mouth rather from another source.
2. I didn't give enough him time during the break - Guys like to be alone when they are stressed out. But girls like to know everything. So I was pressuring him and he didn't like it - he didn't want to deal with me at that time because he was stressed so he broke it off.
3. It was one big freak out - We've never felt this way about another person before. When he asked for a break, I freaked out..which caused him to freak out. It was like one big domino effect.
4. The distance was too much - In the summer, we use to see each other, talk on the phone, and text every day. But since school started and he's wokring full time now, we don't have that luxury. We're limited to seeing each other once a week, 1-2 phone calls a week, and texting each other once a day. That transition was too wide.
5. He didn't want to seem weak - Like your report said, all guys want to be admired. I remember I didn't call him the night after we got together. The following day, he asked me why I didn't call him. I think he needed me too, but he didn't want to admit it. He's always curled up in my arms and in the summer, he's the one who usually texts me to call him. Like the report said, no guy is gonna come out and say he doesn't feel special.
I honestly believe if I gave Mr. X more time during our break, we wouldn't have broken up. I remember that night when he decided it was time for a break, I asked him "so, what is a break? do I still have a boyfriend?" and he said "yes." And I messed that chance up because I didn't give him enough time.
I feel like I'm ready to see Mr. X again. I feel like I won't break down and beg him to come back bacause I know I will be okay without him. However, I've read your blogs and you said some people think they're ready but they're actually not. I want you unbiased opinion to be 100% sure. Thanks for your support Scott!
Monica
How Did She Do It?
Well, it seems she struggled at the beginning like most people do, but she did one thing most others don't...she asked for some advice. And she got it...from me, and what I write on my Blog, which is why I write...to help people, so use it, OK? It also seems that she surrounded herself with “supportive” people, not people who would shoot down her plan to get through this, and win back Mr. X, also VERY important.
She Used The Right Tools
Not only did she utilize all the “free” tools I offer but she also bought the book. Now, this not a shameless plug for the book I sell on my Blog. Instead it is a testimonial to it's effectiveness in conjunction with my Free personal Support, and the information provided here on my Blog. I want ALL of you to succeed, whether it's to get your Mr./Mrs. X back, or to just heal, and move on with your life...that is my purpose.
She Used The Right Tools Correctly
Not only did she get all the necessary tools to achieve the level of confidence and happiness she now feels, but she actually used them. That's right...she used them, and they worked! She used the exercises in the book, and on my Blog. She also followed the plan in the book, and lost weight, changed her attitude, and outlook on life. She went from hopelessness to happiness. She went from low self esteem to rock solid self confidence, and you can too. If you follow her example, and put the no contact rule to work for you.
She Analyzed Her Situation
I really loved the part of her email where she outlined everything that she thought went wrong with their old relationship. By taking the time to do this she's not only prepared herself for a new relationship with Mr. X, but she is ready to start, and maintain a healthy relationship with anyone she chooses now. That is pure gold people...that is the MAIN reason to learn what I am teaching here. The Journal was a brilliant idea, and that helped her to release the past, and embrace the future. Instead of wallowing in the past drowning in self pity, she worked through her feelings in her journal, and moved on...Nice Job Monica!
In Conclusion
Every one of you going through a break up can do what Monica did. I will help you the same way I helped Monica, and everyone else that asks for my advice and help. You can do this without the book, but it will be a lot harder...that is why I recommend the book, and I fully support it too...because I know that it works. I want to thank Monica for agreeing to let me reprint her email. She told me she wanted to help other people, like she was helped...isn't that what the world is all about? People helping people?
I hope this article has helped you to understand the power ?tid=ab60" " the no contact rule has, to change not only your current situation...but your life as well. Please if you have any comments, questions, or you would just like to thank Monica for generously sharing, please do so in the box down below. Do you think Monica is ready to reconnect with Mr. X? What can I do to help you get your ex or your life back again? Let me know, I am here to help.
Until next time,
S. Williams
~I know that “love hurts” but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love's ass~
