Write Your Memories to Remember More of Your Life Story - Tips to Get Women Started Writing

Have you ever thought about writing your life story, or recording an interesting episode in your life, and then thought, who'd want to read about my life? I'm not important enough. I'm not famous. How narcissistic of me to think anyone would care. Stop now; get all those thoughts of unimportance out of your system.

When it comes to writing a memoir, every life is worth capturing in words. You have a unique perspective...your own imagination...and a one-of-a-kind sense of person. Individually our stories complement one another, and together we compose the story of life. So go ahead, ask the tough question: Why should I write about my life? For some people, the answer is easy. They have stories to tell and want to share them with family and friends, and they don't particularly care to distribute beyond that personal zone. Others have lived large, public lives so that writing and publishing a memoir seems a "no brainer."

Would you believe, however, that even the smallest story may be worthy of commercial publication? Lives--all lives--are inherently interesting. How we cope with loss. Overcome hardship. How we express our happiness. Capitalize on opportunity. As people, we find lessons to live by, inspiration and joy in other people's stories. Sometimes extreme adversity in someone else's life allows us to be more appreciative of our own situation. The fact is, people are naturally curious about the lives of other people...famous or not. It's the human story (not the person) we crave. And if we do not claim our own lives, who will? Only we can tell our stories from our perspective. Others can try, but the result will be their story, their version of our lives. My co-author of the collective memoir Rosie's Daughters: The "First Woman To" Generation Tells Its Story, Matilda Butler, and I are often asked about the reasons women write their memoirs. To get the best answer, we asked the same question of our students, published memoirists, and other writing instructors and coaches we know. Here's one of the reasons they all agreed upon: Write to Remember. The more you write, the more you remember. Of course, you know the story you want to tell. However, once you begin to write, you'll find yourself remembering more details. Sometimes you just tap into a storehouse of memories that were there all the time, but were covered in mental dust. The details may be recalled while you are writing, or you may remember them in the days that follow. Then you can go back over your draft and add to it. Alternatively, you'll read a journal you put away years ago and suddenly recall the favorite dress you wore on your first date, the color of wallpaper in your childhood bedroom, or the smell of burning apple pie (the one you left in the oven when your children lured you outside to play ball). So many details that seemed long forgotten will suddenly fill your mind. Embrace all that you recall. I say this because sometimes your memories will bring back the heartaches of life as well as the beautiful moments. Perhaps your mother emotionally abused you. Maybe you had an affair you regret or a conversation that changed your life. A loved one died and left you feeling hollow. It is all of our experiences--the good and the bad--that create the person we are today.

A corollary to write to remember is: write to learn. Perhaps you are telling a story about your close relationship with your grandmother. Once you start writing, you realize you need to do some research. Where was she born? In what year? What did she do to help her family survive the Depression? What happened to her siblings, the ones you never met? How did she make that rich hot chocolate that always made you feel better? You may start your research by finding family records, by searching the Internet, or by interviewing your mother. At the end, you'll know more than you did when you started writing, and the stories about you and your grandmother will be fuller, more detailed, and probably more interesting.

I've given you a key reason to write your memoir, but we all like a little something extra. So here's a Bonus Writing Prompt: Find a photograph of when you were young. Write a story based on the memories it triggers. Where were you? How old were you? What did you like to do at that age? What was your favorite toy? You'll take your mind and emotions on an interesting journey.