This word, comfort, is a curious one. In my mind, comfort instils images of a soft and comfy armchair, sitting beside the fireplace with a hot cocoa reading a riveting mystery novel. Outside, there rages a snowstorm that heightens my sense of warmth and safety, but the glass pane that separates us is an indestructible shield, a barrier, that keeps me safe beyond belief.
A comfort zone, however, is a mental construct. It’s a structure of mental barriers that are not necessarily real. Your comfort zone is where you live, in your head and in your body. It is your thoughts, and those thoughts are reflected in your environment. It is your belief system. It is your addiction to your current lifestyle.
A comfort zone keeps you safe, but not necessarily happy.
Consider your job: If you have a job that you’ve had for a few years, then that job is in your comfort zone. You can like or dislike the job; doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. That job is your addiction.
Consider your finances: If your financial income has habitually paralleled your debt, (ie if your debt increases with wage/income increases), then that parallel is your comfort zone. Again, it doesn’t matter if you are incrementally above, equal, or below. Your comfort zone exists in a certain financial structure, even if it’s a stressful one.
According to the move, What the Bleep, the average waking person has about 60,000 thoughts in a day, 95% of which are repeat thoughts from yesterday. That’s 57,000 recycled thoughts. Recycling the junk from our homes is good. Recycling thoughts, not so good! And here’s why: of those 57,000 thoughts, 80% are negative. That’s a whopping 45,600 thoughts in which we berate ourselves in one way or another. And that’s while existing in our comfort zone!
Let’s be clear. A comfort zone is an opinion, a mental construct that creates a false sense of security. You may hate your job, but you stay in that job because of the benefits, the pension, the pay check. And you’ve got yourself convinced that if you lose your job, you will either get sick and retire broke, and starve to death en route. You may hate that you are in an abusive relationship, but the thought of being alone is even more terrifying. So you put up with it, and along the way convince yourself that you really deserve this.
Because you fear the unknown, misery becomes your comfort zone.
Knowing your comfort zone, understanding it, becoming of aware, is the first step to moving from fear to love.
To your success,
Britt Santowski, Life Coach
I'm Allowed
